Quotes
Writing down the vision and making it plain: Envisioning Your Man
Daughter of A Daughter
A daughter of a daughter, a child of a child, my mother had me at the tender age of 15 years old. Coincidentally; her mother, my grandmother (the youngest of her siblings) had her first born at the age of 15 years old as well (talk about family history repeating itself). Being that my mother was the baby of the bunch she didn’t have a clue on how to raise me, but there we were. Growing up on the East side of Detroit in a house with my grandparents, my mother, her two siblings she had all the help she needed at the time. My grandmother was there to teach her the basics and a lot of it she learned along the way. Back then, it was a real struggle for us.
Growing up we’ve always had a close bond, I don’t know if it was because of the age difference, or if it’s just an unbreakable bond between first-born daughters and their mothers.
A lot of the things we went through brought us closer, which made our bond even stronger. Looking back and appreciating the fact that my mother never gave up on me, and she never gave up on us. If there was something I needed you better believe I got it. I don’t know how she did it, but I do know that God provides, even when we don’t think He is in the mist God is always present.
I lost my father at the age of 2. He was killed right in front of me and my mother. He was gunned down at the playground on the 4th of July. I can’t seem to remember anything about him or that day, I believe in some way I blocked out that day, and in return, it also took every memory I ever had of him. I only have the memories that people tell me of him.
I have always wondered what my life would have been like if he wasn’t taken away so soon. I believe we would have had a close bond as well, but now I guess I will NEVER really know. There are many questions I have about his life and my life that only he could answer. I will never understand why he was murdered in cold blood because of another man’s pride and ego, but what I do know is that he never got a chance to live his life. He never got a chance to see his children grow up, he never got to see us off to prom, college, relationships or anything. He wasn’t there for advice, he wasn’t there to hug me when I needed a hug, or kiss me on my forehead goodnight. At the end of the day, the only thing I know is that I still have to trust God, that all of this happened for a reason. Maybe it was to birth my pain into purpose…only time will tell.
Rest Peacefully Daddy, My Angel that watches over me….
It’s a little strange to me that I cannot recall the event that took place, the event that left me fatherless. I can’t remember my father’s life being snatched away by a bullet and a gun, but what I can tell you is the void that I have felt in my heart ever since that day has never left…it has always been present. It has always felt like something is and was always missing out of my life, no matter what the situation is. While growing up I was always close to my grandparents on my father side, they made sure that I had everything I needed and more and although, they were no longer together I always spent time with each of them.
Looking back I really miss those days…
Fast forward and A couple of siblings later; my mother got married to the love of her life when I was 7 years old. He came into our lives and stepped up as me and my sibling’s father, he raised us as his own along with his son. God also, blessed my parents with a child of their own, a miracle was born. As we all grew together, we never missed a beat, we always spent time as a family. No, everything was not always perfect, we did have disagreements, but what kid and parent don’t see eye to eye at times? I remember that we would have school activities, games, and concerts and even when our mother was not able to make it, due to work, he was there, always.
I can call my dad for any and everything, and if he can help or just be a listening ear, then that’s what he will do. I love my father and thank God for bringing him into our lives. With him came more structure and balance within our family and it brought my mom a hell of a lot of more peace as we gained a better understanding of God as a family.
I believe that when a step parent enter into a family that there have to be several family talks about the family structure in order for there not to be a breakdown. Be sure to make the children feel like they are involved and have family discussions once or twice a month. Set rules and guidelines, be clear with everyone what their roles and responsibilities are within the household. Family bonding is very important especially when it comes to blending a family together. Take trips, family vacations, game and movie nights, and most importantly laugh likes there is no tomorrow.
When God is involved his grace and his mercy will keep the family strong. When one is down we were always taught to come together and pray, and seek God. Some days I still sit and pray for my family’s protection and guidance, I pray for my brothers and my sister. I love them without a doubt!! We are all destined with a purpose and God will reveal and use them for His purpose.
We are FAMILY!!! Although we maybe miles apart we are still close in heart!
God Bless,
Taynia A. Coleman
Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Life Style/Relationship Blogger, Mommy, and Entrepreneur
Website: www.tayniacoleman.com
Email: taynia@tayniacoleman.com
Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM
Lost, Down, and Out
Have you ever felt like Mary J. Blige “I’m Goin’ Down”
Time on my hands Since you been away boy
I ain’t got no plansNo no no no
I Felt trapped in a closet, alone with no air to breathe. That’s what I was facing as my divorce was finalized. I didn’t know what to think, where to go, who to talk to, and fore the sake of me what were the people gonna say? I thought it would last forever (in my Keith Sweat voice) but, it didn’t, it was over. Although, I filed for the divorce I felt so empty on the inside, and even though all these people were around me praying for me, I felt lost and ashamed. I had failed at marriage, the only thing I had to start my life over were my 3 beautiful children. When all hope was lost it was one of them that came and kissed the sadness away. I was a mess! That’s, to say the least.
I lost bits and pieces of me, I was shattered, heartbroken, and devastated. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why this happened to me? Out of all people, me?
No one in my family was a divorcee, but then it hit me; when I heard the question thrown back at me. Why not you? Simple, right. God said why not you, He told me that I needed to trust Him because He wouldn’t put more on me than I can bare. I heard all of this while my heart was still scattered with every step I took. I was not able to pick up the pieces, I was no longer naive and trusting, I was damaged. I was broken in spirit walking around like a zombie, hurting and even when I tried to smile tears filled my eyes instead. I couldn’t even pretend anymore.
Something changed on the inside of me…I was completely broken, I was hurting.
It took time to heal those wounds, it took love, faith, dedication, prayer, and to get rebaptized, and delivered from a heart break to be whole, again. Even through all of my mess God never left me, although I turned my back to Him several times He always reminded me how much of a help I would be to someone else. It’s a blessing.
I now look back over my life and I thank God that he delivered me out of that toxic relationship. It wasn’t right for me, we were young, and several events occurred that took a piece of me. It wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t Love!
I’m thankful for the experience because it has opened my eyes up to know what I will and will not accept. It has opened my eyes up to know what I want out of life and out of a relationship.
Sometimes things don’t work out but please don’t hate the person for it. Forgive so that you can free yourself, and ask for forgiveness for the things that you have done. The Bible says we are to walk in forgiveness, especially if we want forgiveness from the Father in Heaven.
Matthew 6:14-15 states 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
This is a very important principle/key in life and it is to FORGIVE. You must forgive and let it go. It’s not good to hold on to hurt and pain because it will start to cause disease to take over your mind and body.
If you don’t know how to forgive say a quick prayer and ask God to help you.
Be Blessed
Ms. Taynia A. Coleman
Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com
Picture Credits: http://www.pixabay.com
Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM
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Taynia's Word of Advice 
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